It’s that feeling in our belly that can feel like butterflies or snakes. Free flowing anxiety that seems to come from nowhere. Only you know where it is coming from; it’s coming from not knowing what is going to happen next in your infertility treatment.
Sometimes when we’re trying to conceive we can feel a sense of panic. Maybe it’s the results of a test. Or maybe we were sure that we were pregnant this month and we got our period anyway. Maybe, we even got a positive pregnancy test, and we’re seeing signs of bleeding. Sometimes, in the midst of fertility treatment, feelings of panic and overwhelming sadness can literally take our breath away.
The thing about these feelings, is that they can actually support us, even protect us – even if they make us feel uncomfortable. They may make us call our doctors for help and information that might be very important to our outcome.
These feelings may encourage us to reach out to friends, fertility coaches, and therapists for support. They can also encourage us to do something different. Sometimes, the feelings of panic, sadness, and fear move us into action.
As weird as it may sound, I am not encouraging you to numb your uncomfortable feelings away. These feelings may be very important. But learning how to cope with your discomfort in a way that allows you to tolerate being uncomfortable is a survival skill, so I have some tips, so that you can learn ways to handle that feeling of infertility panic.
Tips For Coping with Fertility Panic:
- When we have feelings of panic, fear or deep sadness the first thing that most of us do is stop breathing. So my biggest tip is BREATHE! Check out this article on WebMD for wonderful exercises on deep breathing and why it works! http://www.webmd.com/balance/stress-management/stress-management-breathing-exercises-for-relaxation.
- Close your eyes and think of your support system. Take three clearing breaths. And then lift the phone and start reaching out. Maybe you need medical answers. It may be time to get a second opinion. Call in the troops. This is the time to surround yourself with people who love you and will support you.
- Eat and drink something. Sometimes, having something to eat and drink can be very grounding and calming. Try a calming tea blend. Keep them in the house!
- Cancel what you do not have to do. Make room for baby making! Sometimes, it is stressful. Cancel your regular day if you need to and go for a walk. A gentle walk can bring down feelings of stress and panic.
- Take your mind away from the panic. It’s okay to distract yourself with television or reading a book. Take a break from the panic after you have done whatever needs to be done around it. Go shop! Cook a great meal. Take a calming bath. Do something to help yourself take the focus off of the panic.
My favorite saying about emotions is that it changes like the weather in San Francisco. Just wait five minutes. Panic, fear, sadness all come and go. Allow yourself to float with it knowing that these very uncomfortable feelings will fade a bit. Be compassionate to yourself. Remember panic can be our friend. It can point us in the right direction, create a change, or put us on alert. And then we need to learn how to ride the wave so that we can land safely.